‘AND’ is the Wings

Despite the multiple burdens that a woman has to bear, there is something relieving, something that can take them to their desired destination and achieve their dreams. Sometimes, women need to completely yield to their imaginations. They need to entrust their buried yearnings and embark on a voyage to the unknown destination. Sometimes, women need to erase the label or ‘this’ and ‘that’ and scream- ‘I am NOT ‘this or that!

Women have their toughest time when their future in-laws visit for the first time. Thousands of questions, millions of inquiries and numerous demands- this could be a normal situation for an Indian household. In between multiple rounds of tea and snacks and a ton of queries on the subjects like cooking, education, family values and so on, one lucky person might be asked if she has any hobby. But, the twist is, whatever might your hobby be, from dancing to trekking, everything will be abolished by a simple statement like ‘my son likes his wife to be ‘gharelu‘ (homely, simple). Then starts the customary labeling of Indian women- a woman should be this, a woman should be that! What if someone wants to break the boundaries? What if she wants to create her own label? A girl might not become a doctor but a wildlife photographer, a girl might want to become a restaurateur instead of a teacher, a girl might refuse to become a wife to live her life on her own terms, she might not long for motherhood, she might not take the responsibility of the kitchen, she might travel alone without any male protection, she might do whatever she wants. What is wrong if a girl wants to live her life the way she wants? When the men have got the chance then why not the women?

A man is considered shrewd enough to lead a life suitable for him, he is considered smart enough to take decisions for himself, he is allowed to give his opinions about what kind of a girl he wants to marry, and he is given the power to reject a girl if he feels like. On the contrary, a girl is always considered a burden, a responsibility that should be handed over to someone else as soon as possible, a girl is considered a fragile ‘showpiece’ that always needs to be taken care of by someone, according to the society, a girl always needs a guardian (obviously a man)- for the first 20-22 years of her life she should be guarded by her father, until 60 her husband should play the part and then till death she should be under the authorities of her son (if she is ‘lucky’ enough to give birth to a son!). Women are not meant to be alone, says the patriarchal society where they suggest that the women should not be alone because they could be harmed and ironically the persons abuse a woman are always those ‘men’ who create the rules and regulations for the women.

No one wants to be dominated, but truth is also that if you refuse to be dominated then no one can dominate you. If women, especially in India, stop tolerating the torture, say NO or YES for themselves and do not let anybody take decisions for them then there is a possibility that women can get the freedom that is rightfully theirs. Next time if someone tries to put a chain on you, show the courage and at least warn them that you have the power to break the shackle and walk away. Women have to sweep away their unseen worries. Every woman can live their life without a male support. Forget about what society will say for society will keep saying against you. Remember one thing, you have got your wings inside you- it’s the ‘AND’ that is always attacked. You are not this OR that, you are this AND that. You are everything you want to be. You and only you are the guardian of yourself. So, let the ‘AND’ be your wings and conquer the world. 

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus

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